I am Trevor

I would like to take this time to acknowledge that I am a giant nerd.  I am now absolutely OK with this but for a long time I either had no idea or I was in complete denial. 

These days I really enjoy Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, and FireFly, I like playing card games full of dragons and elves with my friends and talking for hours about how George Lucas has destroyed the memory of childhood.

But there was a day when I wouldn’t acknowledge it.  I always knew I was awkward but I wouldn’t have said I was a nerd. What’s interesting for me though is that I remember the exact moment when it all clicked.

I was on the train on my way home from work.  There was a group of guys sitting across from me and a cute girl a couple rows ahead.

The guys were talking and laughing really loud.  They were talking about the Star Wars prequels as if they mattered. The conversation was escalating and they were really getting into it.  Then one of them said really boisterously, “And then when he killed the younglings I was like what? The younglings?” to which the others loudly exclaimed, “I KNOW.”

It was at this moment that I looked up from playing Diddy Kong Racing on my Nintendo DS towards the girl to exchange an, “oh my” look, as if I was Jim from The Office and she was the home audience.  What I thought would happen was she would look back at me with an, “I know,” look but instead I got a, “what are you looking at?” look.  I continued playing Diddy Kong with a new perspective of who I am.

It only got better from there.  There was a name for what I was.  I wasn’t some lone awkward wolf.  I was part of a pack, a nerd pack. There are millions of us.  I’m not afraid anymore.

Because fear does not compute apparently.