I am Trevor

I had a cancer scare last week.  I was nervous going into the doctors office that first day but when the doctor sent me in for more tests I started to get scared.

I didn’t tell too many people what was happening but the few people I did tell were amazing. So many things were running through my head and I was so thankful to have had people that were there for me.

I had a bit of a quarter life crisis the last few months (assuming I live to be 120) and I thought I was doing good but this experience made me think, “what have I done with my life?”  

The more I thought about the more I realized that I’ve had a good time, I’ve followed my heart, and I’ve shared some great experiences with some amazing people, but I want to do more, I don’t want to get into a rut, I want joy, I want to be constantly learning.

So in the end I had a few days where nothing too serious was wrong with me and a number of strangers touched me in areas I don’t want to talk about, but it put things in perspective for me:

Life is short grab it by the….nevermind… Life is short let’s live it.

Bible College is a funny little world.

I would like to take this time to acknowledge that I am a giant nerd.  I am now absolutely OK with this but for a long time I either had no idea or I was in complete denial. 

These days I really enjoy Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, and FireFly, I like playing card games full of dragons and elves with my friends and talking for hours about how George Lucas has destroyed the memory of childhood.

But there was a day when I wouldn’t acknowledge it.  I always knew I was awkward but I wouldn’t have said I was a nerd. What’s interesting for me though is that I remember the exact moment when it all clicked.

I was on the train on my way home from work.  There was a group of guys sitting across from me and a cute girl a couple rows ahead.

The guys were talking and laughing really loud.  They were talking about the Star Wars prequels as if they mattered. The conversation was escalating and they were really getting into it.  Then one of them said really boisterously, “And then when he killed the younglings I was like what? The younglings?” to which the others loudly exclaimed, “I KNOW.”

It was at this moment that I looked up from playing Diddy Kong Racing on my Nintendo DS towards the girl to exchange an, “oh my” look, as if I was Jim from The Office and she was the home audience.  What I thought would happen was she would look back at me with an, “I know,” look but instead I got a, “what are you looking at?” look.  I continued playing Diddy Kong with a new perspective of who I am.

It only got better from there.  There was a name for what I was.  I wasn’t some lone awkward wolf.  I was part of a pack, a nerd pack. There are millions of us.  I’m not afraid anymore.

Because fear does not compute apparently. 

Dylan (the Director) and I finally got a chance to go back and have a watch yesterday.  It was hard to get to it with all the work we needed to put into the film we did in the summer.

It still needs work but it is looking good and still makes me laugh very hard.  In a way it was frustrating being away from it for so long but really it was good to have some distance and be able look at it with fresh eyes.

I’m excited about it again.

I was watching The Daily Show last night and Jon Stewart said something that really reminded me of my commitment to Embrace Awesome.

He was talking about the terrible shooting in Arizona this past weekend.  He was saying that it’s so easy to focus on the one person and say that people are awful, but he said to look into the people who were shot, and look at their lives and all the good they’ve done.  These are good people.

Click Here to watch. 

Embracing Awesome is not going to be easy.  I’ll be honest before I wrote this post I started writing a post about someone who annoyed me today and I realized that I wasn’t embracing awesome.

I really believe that the more we lift up those who do great things* and the more we less attention we pay to awful**  the more awesome there will be.  

That being said I have an AWESOME CHALLENGE!!! for you:  fInd someone you know who did something awesome, something that showed that they are good inside and tell them they are awesome, tell them why they are awesome, and if you can, if you are physically talking to them hug them really hard.

That is my AWESOME CHALLENGE!!!*** stay tuned for more.

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* (even if they are really small great things)

** (even if it’s a big awful)

I had some great times in 2010 and I had some of the toughest times of my life. 

But then we finish off that rotation around the sun, so we think that’s a time for change, and to be honest, no matter how arbitrary it is, I’m embracing it as a time to think about my goals and aspirations.

I’m extremely excited about this year.  I have no clue what this year will hold but I’m ready for it.   

I have some goals in my mind but I watched this today so I’m not telling you jack.

Dead birds won’t scare me. 

Here are my picks for the best of the year. 

FILM

Best Comedy Movie

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Scott Pilgrim was one of those movies that I instantly loved.  I wanted to watch it again.  Then when I did watch it again I wanted to watch it again again.  I actually lost sleep thinking about how great it was.   

Best Drama Movie

Black Swan

I’m so back and forth on this one.  I really loved The King’s Speech but every time I wrote that it didn’t feel right.

Black Swan isn’t for everyone. There are only a few people I would recommend it to, but in the end it was pure brilliance. 

You’re uncomfortably there for the entire descent.  I recommend going for a walk after watching it to gather your thoughts.  Bring headphones along and listen to Mogwai.

Best Action Movie

Inception

There is something to be said about cool, and this was a cool movie.  It was also one of the most discussed and polarizing movies of the year.  

What did that ending mean?  Don’t answer that, I don’t want a fight here.

MUSIC

Best Album

Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

I’m a big Arcade Fire fan.  Neon Bible had to grow on me but I eventually loved it, Funeral is my all time favorite album, so I was pretty sure this would be a good album but if it wasn’t that would have made it a pretty tough year.

I immediately loved it.  I may go ahead and call it a triumph.

Check out this interactive music video.

Honourable mention:  Ben Folds and Nick Hornby - Lonely Avenue

Best Pop Song

Tightrope - Janelle Monae

This is one of the funnest songs ever. I want to do nothing but dance when I hear it.

However I’ll give this an honourable mention.

TELEVISION

Best Comedy Show

Modern Family

This show kills me.  There are a number of really great shows on TV right now that you should be watching but this one tops the list right now.  I am constantly picking favorite characters, I’m always telling people to watch it and I could watch each episode over and over again. Unlike so many comedies that are out it doesn’t feel self important or cynical, and feels like it comes from a real place.  It shows a family that loves each other no matter what.

That being said, if you are still not watching 30 Rock you should get on that.

Best Show

Doctor Who

I couldn’t decide what category to put this under.  Then I realized it had everything.  It is the show of the year for me.

Action, sci-fi, drama, comedy….  get on it.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

I’m at work and I can’t concentrate.  I’m like a kid at some sort of holiday.  I just want to eat candy and run around in circle (as was the tradition in my family).

It’s the time of year when we remember a promise fulfilled and hope in a dark time.

I hope you have a great Christmas and that you can celebrate with people you love. I hope you eat lots of fattening food and drink lots of eggnog.

It’s been a couple years since I’ve seen this.  I recommend that you don’t start watching it unless you have the time to watch it all the way through.

This is actually pretty close to Frank Baum’s origin story for the Tinman. Especially in how dark it was.

Enjoy.